"HEADS UP!"
A heads up from Fort Lauderdale criminal attorney, John Contini:
Q. My boss is sexually harassing me. What can I do about it?
A. Tell his wife. She'll straighten out his scrawny little butt. And if he isn't married, tell him that you're pregnant with his child (even as it hasn't gotten that far!) and that you're thinking of going to court to establish his paternity. That ought to cool him off.
Better answer: Tell the head V.P. of the "Human Resources" dept., if the company is big enough to have one, and if not, see a lawyer about filing suit for sexual harassment.
Q. What do you have to do, to be guilty of domestic violence?
A. Just get married. It's certainly "domestic," and let's agree, it does 'violence" to your unfettered right to be free. I know, because I am married. You were probably looking instead for this legal answer: Suppose you and your wife get in a heated argument and one of you slightly pushes the other, resulting in perhaps a return push or even a grab, even without the nasty slapping, hair-pulling or punching? The pushing or grabbing is still considered "Domestic Violence," and when the 911 call is made in Florida, this means both of you will be going to jail.
Q. "Dear Lawyer, I did some hurtful things to my ex-girlfriend and now she has a restraining order against me. I want to send her an "I'm sorry" email now that I realize what a jerk I've been. Can I do this?"
A. Quit being such a she-man! No, seriously, here's the right answer: Dear self-declared Jerk, absolutely not! Sending a letter or a Hallmark card, even a nice one - or even flowers with an apology note, violates your restraining order and is illegal; or having a friend call and apologize for you (as you may erroneously think that it's only you who cannot call her), is yet another violation of the "civil" restraining order, which disallows "any" contact, "direct or indirect." When you're arrested for the "crime" of "violation of restraining order," you will be taken to jail, booked, fingerprinted and photographed, and you cannot make bail until a $3,500 bond is posted on your behalf. And if you live with the "victim" or person who petitioned the court for the restraining order, you cannot go to your home to even get your clothes to go to work. You will need a separate hearing before the Judge to "modify the terms and conditions of the restraining order," to allow you to get your belongings.
Q. What do you do if you're sexually molested?
A. This question is too serious to allow for levity. Do not wash up or clean up, as you must help to preserve the evidence of the crime. Your body is essentially the crime scene. Tell the police immediately (even if you are related to, or friends with, the person who did this to you), and get to the hospital or Sexual Assault Treatment Center as soon as possible! There are "forensic" (legal-scientific) reasons that require your physical presence and evaluation at the treatment center or hospital; so please, for your sake, get some help immediately. There may be traces of hair, saliva, semen or blood from which the experts can obtain a decent DNA sample, allowing for identification, prosecution and conviction of the perpetrator. Call your parents and loved ones as soon as possible, as they only want to help you. They will not judge you, as they love you, and want you to receive immediate help! These crimes can often occur as a result of victims being drugged. ("roofies," GHB and other dangerous narcotics can essentially knock you out or so disorient you, that you "pass out" and cannot stop the sexual assault. If you're in a bar or nightclub - or even at a date's house or a friend's party, and someone brings you a drink (even a nonalcoholic drink), do NOT drink it, unless you watched the bartender, friend or "date" make the drink right in front of you. If you didn't watch the drink being poured - or if you took your eyes off the drink before taking possession of it (or if you leave it unattended for a moment, then you are clueless as to what was then put in it! This crime ("rape") is different than "date rape," and yet it's just as pervasive. It occurs with enough frequency that it is becoming epidemic in some parts of the country.
Q. What do you do if you're punched or slapped by somebody?
A. Smack 'em back!
OK, the real answer? Call the police immediately, and then your parents, who may want to file a lawsuit against the dirt bag who punched you, depending on whether the idiot has any assets.
Q. What happens if I get into a fight in traffic?
A. You get the hell beat out of you, unless you can fight real well. Seriously, this is a very bad idea, since people are getting shot and killed in these road rage incidents all the time these days. It's a very dangerous world we're living in today.
The legal answer, however, is: If you are in a "road rage" situation and you so much as put your hand inside the other person's car, it is a felony called "Burglary of a Conveyance." Putting you hand on the outside of their car is not a crime, but if your hand "breaks and enters" the imaginary plane or airspace within their car, that is considered under the law to be "breaking and entering," otherwise known in Florida as a "burglary." And, if you touch the driver (or anyone in that car) against their will, the felony is then upgraded to "Burglary of a Conveyance with a Battery," punishable by 30 years!
© 2008 John Contini (OK to re-post with attribution and contact info)
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John P. Contini & Associates, P.A.
1112 SE 3rd Ave.
Fort Lauderdale FL 33316
www.JohnContini.com
John@jpcontini.com
Office: 954.766.8810
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