If one of your loved ones is about to go to prison - despite all your best efforts in hiring lawyers to score a different result in the case, whatever you do, don't send them any money! Don't put ANY money in their commissary account at the jail - at least not for months. Why?
Other predatory inmates watch closely to see which new inmates have money, which ones are going to the commissary to eat their snacks and meals and buy their goodies, and which inmates are wearing sportier sweatshirts, etc. They immediately deduce from the new inmate's purchases - and from the fact that the inmate is not wearing only prison issued clothing, that the inmate's family is sending him (or her!) money via their commissary account.
The watchful eyes of the predators in the prison tirelessly catch every purchase. They wait, and then they make their moves.
It may appear innocent and even kind at first. The other inmates will offer protection or advice on the rues of the road, seemingly a help to your loved one who is all too eager for any help at all. This is all so new and scary - just the uncertainty of it all, that the advice and protection from the "caring" and "kind" inmate offering help is readily accepted and appreciated.
Later comes the request for payback. Demands then follow requests, if the requests are not granted by your loved one. Often times the requests - and later demands, are just about money, a little pay back for all the kindness and advice and protection to date; but as you might expect, there are times when the requests - and later demands, are about other kinds of scarier behavior and favors. The extortion is layered. First, it's the shake down for cash, but then if the dough doesn't surface, next are the threats for sexual favors.
Bottom line: Don't send your loved one any money for months, not until they have had the time to make genuine friends and acclimate to prison life without the predators in the equation - predators invited unwittingly into your loved one's life by you, thinking that you're only helping.
Of course, it only makes sense that you would have no idea that this kindness and generosity on your part could present a problem for the very loved one you're trying desperately to help, the same family member who is asking you to send them the money! They, too, don't know what they're unwittingly inviting into their life; so you must help me explain it to them.
Later - after they have adjusted to their surroundings and know the lay of the land and have a comfort level in there with their own set of friends, only then can you send them a little money, and even then, just a little! Ok?
I will have more tips and "inside" information for you soon, I promise. Until then, encourage your loved ones to join a Bible study in there and attend the prison church services and sign up for any and all educational programs that may be available, as ALL of that will help them to make better friends and have an easier ... and even a blessed time in there, as nuts as that sounds.
Trust me. My prayer for you and your incarcerated loved ones:
May all of you be blessed beyond measure with His peace, joy and love, this day and every day, in Christ's name I pray, amen.
Keep the faith,
John Contini
P. S. Where do I get my information? I have not gone to prison except to repeatedly visit inmates over the last twenty years, and my own clients almost never go to prison, so how do I really know this?
(And I say that my own clients almost never go to prison *not because I'm Mr. Wonderful or some sort of miracle lawyer, as much as the fact that I tend to get the first or second time offenders - rather than the recidivist, repeat offenders who often score out to Florida State Prison under the sentencing guidelines. I often have enough to work with - and yes, I know what I'm doing enough to come up with alternative programs (rather than prison) for my clients when a sentencing is expected.)
The information I am sharing with all of you, comes direct to me from inmates who have served significant time in prison, and quite frankly, I absolutely believe these men. They are out now and they have no dog in the fight, no reason to lie or embellish.
There is one exception after a couple of weeks, and even then, it's just for short, short money, and this exception I learned from the renowned jail/prison expert, Ron McAndrew:
This statement; "You or your kid going to prison?" is dead on target.
"There could be an exception or two and I’ll briefly explain. Let’s take the offender who is a drug addict….alcoholic…and on top of this is suicidal or has serious mental issues. I’ve seen such offenders get through the worst part as long as they had access to cigarettes as a crutch. If it’s a jail where nobody is allowed cigarettes it seems the issue is a little easier to deal with as they don’t have to see the relief they can’t touch……..but…..if he’s strung out and can’t get some form of relief such a cigarettes it could lead to dangerous areas…..suicide…taking such from another offender. This exception might call for just enough money to cover cigarettes.
Getting involved with a prayer group is truly a positive path" – Ron McAndrew
Ron McAndrew
Prison & Jail Consultant
20390 The Granada
Dunnellon, FL 34432-6082
http://www.RonMcAndrew.com
Office: 352 465 5919
Cellular: 352 342 1450
© 2009 John Contini (OK to re-post with attribution and contact info)
---
John P. Contini & Associates, P.A.
1112 SE 3rd Ave.
Fort Lauderdale FL 33316
www.JohnContini.com
John@jpcontini.com
Office: 954.766.8810
Author:
www.Myspace.com/John.Contini
www.Facebook.com/JohnContini
www.Youtube.com/JohnContini
www.Twitter.com/JohnContini
For book orders:
www.DangerRoadtheBook.com 800.957.6476
EBooks are now available!
| < Prev | Next > |
|---|
